it was all started in grade one when seeing my friends dancing at school and i started to think that if they can dance why can't I. so i started to dance and yes i made it! i dance and get good grades but at the 3rd grade our family decided to move to Bekasi and so i stopped and started to find another dance school which is near to my house. I started to dance peacefully until the examination comes. As a dancer, it is a duty for us to get the best score because we've spent a one full year for each of the examination and that is where i feel some of my mates starting to get off me. It was one of the most though year of my dancing where i feel like i want to quit. When the day comes, i feel like a non-living thing and after getting out from the exam room, i feel like living again.
it was time to reveal the result and my one year of hard working is payed off by a good result but yes again some friend distanced me because they feel that i'm a new student why do i need to be better than them. So than i was so naive and i don't think about the reason so i endure it. one by one my mates quit dancing and there are only six of us left. and as some examination passes, and I come to the top 10, there's a girl who tried to get me to back off. It is in 2011 when i feel its my turning point. i got into the top 5 but then some people start to get off me and it makes me really want to give up on dancing but when my teacher knows that, she always tell me to endure it but i feel the atmosphere start to get awkward and glares are thrown everywhere i go as they make me want to back off.
And so that girl who think that i'm her rival try to treat the teacher so as soon she did that, the teacher always believe on what she says without looking at the other because the girl teamed up with some of the other too. once there was a competition, the teacher first says that we ALL will join but in a sudden she change it into 3 people and that all is that girl's teamed up members. so then i felt betrayed and i always nag my mom to let me quit dancing because i think at first its a healthy competition environment but its getting worse and so my teacher says that they choose them because their height is almost the same. i know that its not the main reason but i stay quiet. once i met a mother from the other dance school and she knows that i got the highest score. but i think it's embarrassing that time because my dance school itself just forgot it right away and so when i meet people while rehearsing for performances and they talk about that time, i just wish that all people will forgot that because it's embarrassing to know that my dance school itself won't know that who broke the record and get a best score itself.
this year on may, we have competition and i got as a solo and as usual the teacher make the dances but it doesn't feel right because the costume i got is not really good but in the criteria it says that costume is also a part of the score. because the performance number is ranked from the highest to the lowest, i got the second and i know that something is not right so i decided to finish it fast and went home because they say that the final will be announced in the midnight but yes again, that girl is the one who get to the final because the one who make the dance is the expert while mine, i was given the dance made by the jazz teacher who barely know ballet. Then my mom get so angry and ask me not to dance there and just quit without notification or telling someone and yes it was so tough but i need to move and so yes here i am, not going back and will continue to dance in a different place and here i am, now i can dance in a pointe shoes.
It is better to dance with your heart not only to get compliment. dance comes from your passion and you will never can be a good dancer if you only dance to gain attention. Don't try to learn a dance but own it because no one's gonna be better doing your dances better than you
Sincerely
-FL-
You must be a great dancer, seeing that you've been learning to dance for a quite long time.
ReplyDeleteMy dancing school will have two productions called "Amor en Barcelona" and "Mustika Padma" we will not only present ballet, but the students from the Jazz class will also join:)
I remember that you told me that your ballet school will have another production, what is it going to be about? What's your role in the production?
Hai Dara!^^ its nice to see you commenting in my blog^^ yes my performance will be a classical sleeping beauty as the Garland dancers^^
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